The Wedding Blog

In a few days it will have been 3 months since I’ve posted on this, the wedding blog. It’s not that nothing has happened in terms of the wedding lately - in fact, the big day has come and gone already! It’s really that things kept happening without me stopping to write about them. Then the next thing I know, it’s the week before the big event and there is not time to sit in front of a computer and just type. So let’s see how many details I can fill in now == post-marriage == for posterity.

By far the most productive and stress-relieveing time in the entire wedding-planning process took place over the Easter weekend. Leona and I spent the weekend in Hamilton, celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and getting a ton of wedding-related stuff accomplished.

What kinds of things, you ask? Well, my dress had just recently arrived in Ontario so we found a seamstress and had the first fitting, we figured out what to do for a headpiece and jewlery for me and purchased them, hair and appointments were arranged for myself and the girls, and oh what a burden was lifted off of me that day! I had been stressing out about the arrival of the dress, purchased in Edmonton, as well as where to get our hair done and how to style it. I think what I really needed was someone to walk through these things with me, and Leona’s visit provided that for me.

So, how does Darren fit in? As Leona alluded to in her blog, Darren was a knight in shining armour on that Saturday. Since neither of us knew our way around the city, we relied on him to be our chauffeur. Leona, being a master organizer, had created a list of things we had hoped to get done, and one by one Darren took us to the appropriate location in which to do them. He went with book in hand and patiently waited for us in each location, each time getting further in his reading. I think the sales ladies at The Propper Topper were surprised to see a man walk into their shop, but he just found himself a place to sit and kept to himself. At one point, the girls who were trying on bridesmaid dresses and discussing which type of bra would be appropriate to wear with each remembered he was sitting within earshot and quietly said, “Just keep reading.” I think Darren left there feeling priviledged to have been given a glimpse into the world of female conversation. (If only he knew how rarely we have such conversation.)

All in all, I learned a few very important things that day:

It pays to have bridesmaids! Leona’s presence and help was so wonderful. I accomplished more in a single day with her than in a week alone, probably because of the pressure of limited time with her assistance. Regardless of the reason, it was amazing.

Productivity lends itself to relaxation. I didn’t realize how much stress I had been feeling about some of the details of the wedding until I had taken care of them and felt the relief and release it brought. When I got back to work on Monday (no, I don’t have Easter Monday off), I remember commenting to a colleague with a smile on my face how I felt so good about the wedding and the way the planning was going. It had been a while since I had been excited about this event. Don’t get me wrong - it wasn’t that I didn’t want to get married, but the weight of the planning had been getting me down. Accomplishing these (seemingly straight forward) tasks lightened my load to the point that my excitement could shine through again.

One of my love languages must be acts of kindness because I don’t think I’ve ever felt so loved by Darren as when I looked out the window at the bridal shop and saw him patiently minding his own business, waiting for the signal to take us to the next place. He was astonished by how easy it was to make me so happy. He said, “All I had to do is read my book and she went crazy!” There’s a little more to it than that, but ’tis true.

Had I written this post last week, it would have been a rant. Today it’s a grateful, reflective piece.

The story begins last Monday. I finished work, went home to pick up my laptop, and headed to Hamilton where I met Darren and together we hurried downtown to meet with the Event Coordinator at the hotel at which we had finally decided to hold our reception.

This was a huge decision because we first had to gather information from the various potential locations. This involved checking information online, setting up appointments, visiting halls, corresponding with booking personnell…in short, a lot of legwork. Once the information was gathered, it had to be compared. The comparison part was just as difficult because many had hidden costs and others were extremely vague in their descriptions and pricing. In the end, we must have visited 8 or 9 halls and emailed/called at least 10 others. So you can imagine our relief and excitement when we were finally able to give an answer to people who asked “So, where is the reception?”

Anyway, we got to the hotel, parked and went to the front desk. As we waited for “Paul” to meet us, I was reviewing the things we had to discuss (menu substitutions, centerpieces, I forget what else–that’s why I was reviewing it!) and Darren was practicing his Italian.

When he came down to the lobby where we were waiting, the interaction went something like this:

D: Paul? I’m Darren. This is Larissa.
P: Hi Darren. Larissa. Did you bring your quote with you?
L: Actually we forgot it.
P: That’s ok. I’ve got it upstairs. Oh, first of all, did you park underneath?
D: Yeah.
–Paul gets parking pass–
P: OK, let’s take the stairs to my office. Now, you’re still looking for May 19, 2007, right?
–Larissa halts–
L: No…2006.
P: Oh…

Some date checking happened next, followed by a whole lot of apologizing and finally some suggestions for other locations that might still have space available for a reception 3 1/2 months away.

Needless to say, we left there very discouraged and disappointed…not to mention a little perturbed. When we checked the quote that had been sent to us, we found that it was indeed for May 19, 2006 but somehow we got penciled in the official book 12 months later. It was frustrating to say the least.

We went directly to two of the places Paul suggested (the Art Gallery of Hamilton - AGH - and the Royal Botanical Gardens - RBG - ), neither of which had people who could help us because, as I then remembered from my catering days, since events usually take place on the weekends, Mondays are like Saturdays in that industry.

But now we were more determined to get this settled. That is, after I got over feeling discouraged. For a full day and a half if anyone asked how wedding plans were going (a favourite topic of conversation these days) I would either begin moping or ranting…neither of which is a very pretty sight.

But Darren was instrumental in getting emails sent and phone calls made and the next thing I know, I get a message from that incredible man saying the woman from the AGH can meet with us at such-and-such a time but since you’re [that’s me] in class I’ll just go alone and tell you about it when you get home.

When I talked to Darren that evening he told me all about the fabulous pavilion that is so simple and elegant and wouldn’t really need decorations. He said the woman he dealt with was so nice and …I can’t even remember all the stuff he said, but it was all positive. He ended by saying that he left thinking, “This is where we’re going to have our reception.”

Now to find out about the cost.

We received a proposed menu and estimate cost the next day. It was out of our price range, but after meeting with the AGH staff again, we’ve found some ways to make it match better. Both sets of parents saw the room and agreed that it is wonderful. My mom’s exact words were, “It’s so you.”

We are so excited to be able to celebrate our marriage in such a lovely location. And to think that if it weren’t for Paul’s booking antics, we’d have settled for a hotel much like any other. We’re two thankful people today.

Post Script: Friday I got a message from Paul saying that there was a cancellation and we could have may 19, 2006 if we were still interested. Apparently he hasn’t seen the newly renovated Art Gallery of Hamilton!!

It was almost a month ago that Darren and I attended the big Hamilton bridal show, but the remnants of it are still scattered around my apartment. It was convenient and yet oh so overwhelming to have all those vendors in one place. I walked out of the show thinking, “There’s SO MUCH we have to do!” to which Darren replied, “But now we have the tools to do it.”

Sorting through the huge bag of promotional material was another huge task, but we worked through it systematically, categorizing each piece of paper into groups (flowers, attire, favors, halls, etc.) and then eliminating those that we wouldn’t use. The goal was to have 2 vendors for the stuff that we still needed, but I think we cheated a little.

I took my part of the pile home and it still lies on my living room floor, reminding me of all the little (and not so little) things that I have to take care of, and tempting me to just sit and browse at the pretty dresses.

Despite the overwhelming nature of this excursion, it was a productive afternoon. A number of things were settled or began to get settled at the show:

First, we took advantage of Moore’s special price and put a deposit on the tuxedo rentals. We weren’t sure that we were going to rent tuxes, thinking we might opt to simply buy Darren a nice suit that he can use again and let the guys wear whatever black suit they could muster up, but we couldn’t say no to these prices!!

Second, we began to consider cruising as a viable option for our honeymoon. I’ve always been a little anti-cruise, simply because I’m more of a get-into-the-culture tourist than a relax-on-the-beach tourist. But I was willing to do a little relaxing after the wedding (thinking of purchasing an all-inclusive resort package). However, I tend to get bored easily and I was afraid that a week of lounging on a beach would do me in. So this is a great compromise, I think, and comparable in price.

Third, Darren got to look inside a number of limousines, just to check them out. One of the companies whose cars were in the building ended up being the one we booked with the following week. I wasn’t sure that we needed a limo, but since neither I nor anyone who might drive me around in my big poufy dress (aka my sisters) know the city of Hamilton, and since our wedding day itinerary is a little complicated, we decided to go for it. Besides, Friday night rentals are subject to a 40% deduction in the price, so it became affordable.

Finally, I got a call a couple days after the show from a DJ telling me that I had won 2nd place in the draw at his booth which was $200 off the cost of their services for our wedding. We have since met with him, found him worthy of the vital task of showing us a good time all night long, and finalized everything. That’s a big thing!

Besides all that, we got to watch a couple of really cute ring bearers in the fashion show and I could feel good about being able to say to Boutique vendors, “I already have a dress!” But that’s a story for another time.

The idea of ring shopping freaked me out. But that is no surprise to those who know me. Even after I knew that I was going to marry Darren, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words out loud. That doesn’t mean that nobody knew; there were select people who discovered our intentions through deciphering my secret code. Even yesterday my sister said, “If…oh, what code words are we using now? …never mind …if you and Darren get married…” That’s telling.

I think Spence Diamonds was built just for people like me. I know I wouldn’t have been able to handle a traditional jewelry store! Before going, I watched the video online in which the president explains how his chain of stores is different. That gave me a little more confidence. We also had looked at some ring styles online to get a general idea of preferences. That gave me a little more confidence. But still when Darren parked the car in the Spence parking lot and the engine was off, I froze. The only thing I could say was, “I can’t go in there.” A little reassurance and a little coaxing got me out of the car and into the store.

Once inside, I was completely overwhelmed. There were thousands of rings to choose from and what seemed like hundreds of smiling salespeople waiting to assist us. I hate that! When I worked at a Christian Book Store, the most challenging part was having to approach the customers to ask them if they needed help, simply because I HATE THAT! Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that those smiling salespeople (there were probably 6 of them working on a Saturday afternoon) were more like consultants. One offered us a drink. Another said to pick a ring, wear it around the store, and compare it to others, eliminating as we go. They left us to ourselves, coming over every 15 minutes to just make sure we were ok.

That’s good salesmanship, in my opinion. I definitely didn’t want to have to explain to a diamond expert what I wanted (mostly because I had NO IDEA) nor did I want their help. The concept of choosing something I would wear every day from now until the grave was overwhelming enough. After all, I’m the one who can’t decide on a watch for the same, although much less permanent, reason!

We did end up giving Spence our business that day. That’s surprising considering that Darren’s reason for choosing this particular store was not that it is Canada’s number one diamond retailer, or that it had a great selection, or because of its buy-back or trade-up policies, or that they took the time to educate us about the 4Cs of diamonds (Please don’t ask me to explain; I was too emotionally overloaded that day to pay attention. All I know is that diamonds are pretty!). No, the reason was that he thought the advertisements were interesting and appealed to him on an intellectual level. How’s that for reasoning?

I don’t know if I can say that I have nothing but wonderful things to say about Spence Diamonds. At the end of the day, it is a business and their job is to make money off of people like us. They were sure to give us the spiel about why their store was the best one in which to make a purchase like this. But I can forgive all those things because it’s done, we’re happy and should anything tragic happen in the next few weeks, they’ve got a great return policy!