Promise Rings - warning!
A few months ago my friend shared with me that he was considering buying his girlfriend a promise ring. He has since bought and given her this ring and recieved a very positive reaction. My reaction, however, (be prepared all you romantics out there) was not so positive. It was certainly not the reaction he expected or wanted but it came out of my ignorance on the subject, lack of tact and hatred for our society’s materialistic mindset.
But maybe there is more to this promise ring thing than I thought. So I did a little research to find out what the deal was. It seems that there are a million places to purchase what Walmart calls “a symbol of love and devotion.” However, many of the informational websites I looked at included a kind of warning. For example, promise-rings.info writes:
When Giving A Promise Ring
The most important rule in giving a promise ring is to be up-front about the terms of the promise, especially if the ring contains a diamond. There is nothing more heartbreaking than a person reading something into a gift of a ring that is more than intended! A simple note accompanying the ring, to be read prior to opening the gift, can clarify your sentiments.
It seems this little piece of jewellery can cause lots of confusion. And of course since its purpose is never clearly defined. Buzzle.com says “promise ring can be given or used for any sign of commitment.” How’s that for open-ended?
Sheesh! This confirms my suspicion that the promise ring is really an invention of the jewellery industry in order to make more money. If they can get people to purchase rings to commemorate special events in their lives, that’s fabulous, but if they can get people to purchase rings to commemorate mere ideas and intentions, that’s even better!
I think it is important to note that I did apologize to my friend, though. The not-so-cynical part of me understands that they want to make their commitment to each other known. And maybe an established symbol is what some people need to be able to define their level of commitment. It’s true that there are no other official steps between “we like each other and are dating” and “we are getting married.” There are, however, many, many unofficial steps between those two places and my question is: do they need to be advertised?
Having said all that, I have fully bought into the need for engagement and wedding symbols (namely, rings) so I’m not the best one to be staging this rant. I’m just so glad my boy and I are on the same page. As long as we’re dating, you’ll have to ask if you want to know the level of our commitment. But since a promise ring really can mean anything, I guess you’d have to do that even if I were wearing one.